PIV, or penis-in-vagina sex is something that may seem inconsequential to most people, but is absolutely not.
Most people who’d reject the relevance of sex in politics haven’t really understood the concept – especially men.
So this is going to be an article, by a man, for men(and womyn) who find PIV sex to be inconsequential to feminism.
Firstly, understand the concept of female risk(I’ll talk about condoms later) – the fact that PIV is dangerous to women – the fact that it can even kill them. Pregnancy is the main problem, with all kinds of STDs being the side dishes. Now, there’s very little risk for men as compared – it can all but ruin their lives. Now, considering the risk, the patriarchy has created several tools to reduce the dispensibility of womyn – condoms, the pill, and all kinds of fucked up shit. Now take that, and consider the fact that men all over the world just lurve PIV(womyn – would you have PIV if the risks were on the men’s side, if they had to take the pill, if they had to face the consequences of rape? If you’re not as apathetic as most people, the answer should be no).
By the way, as any womon will tell you, PIV doesn’t really feel that good. Most womyn don’t even orgasm with it. But I’m not your bloody sex-coach, go google that rubbish.
Now people are going to go up in arms about how “BUT WE HAVE CONDOMSSS!!!11!1!1″ so I’ll tell you that you’re looking at things from a purely individual level – you’re not looking at the symbolism of the whole problem.
Let’s take an example of your average Joe – you’re a straight white guy, horny, love to have sex with womyn. Now, take the womyn in your life, and give them one property – they will NOT let you have PIV-centric sex with them. Does your value for womyn drop? By how much? Why? What’s so important about your right to shove your dick into womyn that lowers your value for them?
Why is it that risking their lives for your pleasure is so damn important? Should the fact that they are human beings who value your existence be enough? But nooo… sex is responsible for fucking god-knows how many ruined marriages, so much drama, I can’t even begin.
See – that’s where privilege comes in. A man’s privilege to a womon’s genitals, and consequently, her life. Owning a womon.
Men need to value womyn as HUMAN BEINGS, not as fuck-holes that tell them how great they are.
I hope that knocked some sense into someone out there.
PS – I haven’t read it yet, but Andrea Dworkin’s Intercourse is a great book on this topic, recommended to me by several people. Just wish I could find a damn copy of it around here. Also, Kate Millett’s Sexual Politics.
PPS – Yes, I’m a “virgin.” Now piss off.
Thanks for talking about this as a man. Its not that hard to understand but so many men are afraid of it (mainly because they want to stick their dicks into us)
Yeah, I really think there’s a lack of men rejecting PIV. I haven’t seen a single man do it, so I wanted to do it myself.
And I tried to write this as-a-man, for-other-men.
I mean, believe it or not, but radical feminist issues actually really bother me, despite being a man. I dunno why.
There’s a lack of men rejecting masculinity and the dudely identity. You raise an important issue; the mainstream discourse on sex considers penetrative sex holy writ. It’s absurd and oppressive. The birth control debate, for example, would look completely different with queer sexualities and the full spectrum of sex acts on the table. I’m skeptical of the wonders of bepenised dude-identifying folks rejecting PIV while cling to masculinity, though it has an obvious practical utility.
Although I see the author’s point, I also feel that this article was slightly extreme. I have always preferred mutual masturbation to piv, and I have a partner who is the same. However, for many men and women piv is an act of love and intimacy-not rape or dominance. As long as both people are adults, whatever pleases them is their business.